By My Own Admission

I've had mental health issues since I was around 15 years old. I have struggled with depression and anxiety, signs of PTSD, and suicidal ideations. I have taken more medications that you can poke a stick at, and seen more therapists than I have fingers. Yet here I am almost 26 years later still struggling with the black dog.

Today I took the plunge and did something I've needed to do for a long time. I checked in to a private psychiatric hospital as an inpatient. There is a reason why I have done this now, and I will talk about that some other time. For now I want to talk about what my first day has been like.

I received a call this morning advising me that I needed to be here at 1pm. What the fuck! I thought I was going to be admitted on Tues or Weds. I don't have enough clean clothes! Ezra had gone to his Family Day Carer and I didn't get to say a proper goodbye! Cue internal meltdown. I still managed to get my stuff packed and buy myself some new pyjamas while Trent (my husbfriend) toddled off and bought me a freaking Nintendo Switch. Fuck yes! He wins best human of the year award.

We arrived here just after 1pm and waited for someone to come take me to my room and show me around. And waited. And waited. Eventually the nurse showed up and took me to my room to fill out forms before she took me for a tour. So I filled them out and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally a friend of mine with some experience here had popped in to see me so she gave me the tour. Hooray!

I got to meet the psychiatrist who I will be treated by. He seems really nice and has super clear handwriting, so I'm not sure that he actually is a doctor. I might need to check his credentials next time to make sure he isn't another patient who is delusional, who just thinks he is a doctor.

Dinner time came and went. There is a cute little buffet which the nurse told me was a more upmarket version of Sizzler. There was a distinct lack of cheesy toast so I have decided that she is either a liar or fucking delusional :D But seriously the food is pretty decent and there is also a cafe here so here's hoping they make a decent cup of coffee in the morning. Otherwise I will likely end up on the section with the padded cells.

All in all, my first experience here has been pretty good. I have a roomie who is nice and pretty much does her own thing. The psychiatrist told me that I am looking at a minimum of two weeks here. I will be chilling out, doing some group therapy, taking part is an exercise program and making sweet arse art projects. Just waiting for Angelina Jolie to swing by soon to take me on some crazy night time adventure like in Girl, Interrupted.

Good night lovers ❤️